Me against the world
Today is one of those days where I feel its me against the world. After spending the last 1 week caring for a fever struck child, my immunity was at an all time low. Thus the flu bug has struck. After struggling with work for a whole day, I come back to find the princess having taken a 2.5 hr nap from 4.30 to 7pm.
Alarm bells went off as this means that she will be up really really late tonight. And so the same cycle begins, she refuses to eat, refuses to drink her milk and of cos she refuses to sleep.
After 2.5 hrs of intermittent screaming, yelling and threats, I finally surrendered and turned off the TV. I tried to catch some shut eye whilst she bounced around on the bed as usual but my peace was short lived. Cos every 5-10 minutes she would start her usual kicking at my face and any part of the body she can feel. Then she would proceed to crawl all over me, jabbing me in the crotch (her favourite) with her elbow and then proceed to step on my abdomen.
I can't ignore her nor could I stop her. Raising my voice doesn't help any more. Especially not when the husband returns at midnight and reprimands me for screaming at her. Honestly I really dunno what else to do. She broke the last cane in the house.
And each time I would try to teach her a lesson, the old folks will step in. Super double standards. I used to get whacked with a belt as a kid. And here I am using my voice and trying time outs and it all goes to waste cos she can just run and hide behind her grandparents. The pitfalls of staying with parents sometimes outweigh the benefits. But no choice, I am stuck here for another 1.5 years.
I tired, cranky, not breathing properly and I have no one to talk to. The husband can only make casual comments, probably afraid to stir the fire more. I feel that I am alone in this world. Can no one see that she will grow even more spolit? Sometimes I wish I could have been a stay at home mom, maybe things would have turned out differently.
Here I am typing my heart out at 1.22 am and here is my daughter still jumping around like its 8pm.
I surrender, I give up. All's lost with this one, she breaks my heart. They all break my heart and spirit.
Alarm bells went off as this means that she will be up really really late tonight. And so the same cycle begins, she refuses to eat, refuses to drink her milk and of cos she refuses to sleep.
After 2.5 hrs of intermittent screaming, yelling and threats, I finally surrendered and turned off the TV. I tried to catch some shut eye whilst she bounced around on the bed as usual but my peace was short lived. Cos every 5-10 minutes she would start her usual kicking at my face and any part of the body she can feel. Then she would proceed to crawl all over me, jabbing me in the crotch (her favourite) with her elbow and then proceed to step on my abdomen.
I can't ignore her nor could I stop her. Raising my voice doesn't help any more. Especially not when the husband returns at midnight and reprimands me for screaming at her. Honestly I really dunno what else to do. She broke the last cane in the house.
And each time I would try to teach her a lesson, the old folks will step in. Super double standards. I used to get whacked with a belt as a kid. And here I am using my voice and trying time outs and it all goes to waste cos she can just run and hide behind her grandparents. The pitfalls of staying with parents sometimes outweigh the benefits. But no choice, I am stuck here for another 1.5 years.
I tired, cranky, not breathing properly and I have no one to talk to. The husband can only make casual comments, probably afraid to stir the fire more. I feel that I am alone in this world. Can no one see that she will grow even more spolit? Sometimes I wish I could have been a stay at home mom, maybe things would have turned out differently.
Here I am typing my heart out at 1.22 am and here is my daughter still jumping around like its 8pm.
I surrender, I give up. All's lost with this one, she breaks my heart. They all break my heart and spirit.
posted by vern at 10:24 AM
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